Lettuce Share

I’ve always heard how easy it is to regrow a pineapple – just cut off the top and plant it.  This has never worked for me.  I’ve buried them deep, shallow and in-between, kept them in water and dried them out, all for the same result – a smelly rotting pineapple top sticking out of the ground.  Presumably to spare my misery, my step-son bought me a plant two years ago.  I was thrilled; it had an itty-bitty pineapple starting to form, and I waited patiently as it sloooooooooooowly ripened.  Then one horrible morning, I walked outside to find it gnawed in two.  The top was lopped off and lying on its side, the fruit eaten to a nib.  I was devastated already, but to add insult to injury, whatever grubby little creature it was that ate the top, returned the next night to finish off the bottom. Apparently it was too plump and delicious for just one sitting.  It’s taken two years for a second pineapple to emerge, and I just found poop on the pavers next to it!  I thought I’d spare you that picture, but I did look at it – weird, I know, but there’s a reason.  Ubermommy (AKA my sister) took her kids on a scat tour; scat is another word for poop and she’s ubermommy because only an ubermommy would know about a scat tour.  Anyway, I looked at the scat because I’m going to try to figure out what’s lurking around my pineapple; I can’t wait another two years to taste it.  To be continued…